To England Where My Heart Lies: Part 3- Fairies Do Heroin

Well, I’ve been at Capernwray for over a week, and I’m just now getting to day 2 in Wales, so maybe by 2019 I’ll have gotten caught up. We started out our day at Gwydir, which is a medieval castle that a young, broke, couple bought in the 90’s when it was little more than a ruin.

They moved in, and have spent the past 20 years restoring it. And living in it. And sleeping on a mattress wrapped in bubble wrap because they put all their money into the house instead of basic necessities like a bed. I know all this because Judy, the lady of the house, has written a fabulous book about their restoration adventures. Corrie and I both read it, and loved it, and want to be best friends with Judy. We love her. Keep that in mind.

Two things we know about Gwydir are:

1. It is Judy and her husband Peter’s house. Not in a vague, “oh, we own this property” way. Like they actually live there all the time. They only let in the public because they can’t keep them out. Once Judy went downstairs in her pajamas and was met by a crowd of Japanese tourists.

2. During the days when visitors had to ring a bell at the gate to be let into Gwydir, Judy, Peter and any of the various workmen who happened to be there would all run away as fast as possible and the last man left in the entrance hall would be forced to socialize with the guests. They’re not keen on talking to new people.

“But Emily!” You will say, “You also have social anxiety! You and Judy would be best friends!”

Well, maybe folks, maybe. But to be best friends with someone, you have to initiate a conversation. Not that we thought we would even see Judy, or Peter. We didn’t even know if they were home that day. We spent a lovely morning perusing their house, looking at all the rooms we had read so much about, minding our own business, when suddenly, a woman came into the room, and began heading toward the opposite door. She was walking with purpose, not with the meandering gait of the tourist. Corrie and I froze. We spent a few tense moments furiously communicating in eye signals. Judy marched past, clearly not wanting to be talked to, uttering only a quick “Hello” as she passed us. After she had left, Corrie and I were so shell-shocked that we couldn’t even remember if either of us had answered her greeting.

On the plus side, we did get to stare at her dog for a while.

After Gwydir, we went to a tea room called Tu Hwnt I’r Bont, and don’t try to pronounce it, because I had my Welsh friend at Capernwray teach me how to pronounce it, and I still can’t. I think it translates to “House by the Bridge” or something. It was originally a 15th century courthouse, and now it spends its days being non-committal about whether or not it’s going to let nature reclaim it.

After all that, it was time to climb around on rocks again. We went to Grey Mare’s Tail Falls, from which Judy and Peter get the water for the fountain at Gwydir. The urge to swim downstream, enter the pipe system, and emerge from the fountain at Gwydir to get another chance to meet Judy was strong, but we restrained ourselves. We climbed around on rocks in the pool at the bottom of the falls, and then hiked up to the top of the falls. Since I am basically the female Bears Grylls, I drank some of the water from the falls, which was delicious, and now I can speak to animals. A little further downstream, we saw this:

For all you homeschooled kids reading this, that’s the vestiges of a heroin snorting session. Ah, the glories of nature.

So that was day two. In approximately 7 years I should have day three written up, so see you then.