Emily McGuire and the Half-Blood Prince: March at Capernwray

*distant sobbing bc it’s the final Capernwray blog*

10 Day Outreach and the Injuries Thereof

Let’s see, on the first day of March we were in the middle of 10-day outreach. So far, all had been going well. We’d spent our first weekend helping with the church’s kids and youth groups, the latter of which introduced us to a game called Potato which involves various people being forced to sit in the middle of a circle whilst those forming the circle spike a ball at them as hard as they can with the goal in mind being that they hit them. Also, saying “sorry” when you hit someone is forbidden, and will earn you a one-way ticket to the middle yourself. It really fosters a sense of unity and compassion within the young members of the body of Christ. Once the week started, we would spend the mornings and afternoons going to either middle/high schools and having kids in their Religious Education classes ask us questions (super exciting to be able to share your love for Jesus with kids who are pretty much completely unchurched, but slightly terrifying because I am afraid of youths) or doing assemblies and after-school clubs for elementary school kids. Things were going well until one day, about mid-week, I was hanging out in the main activity room of the church, when suddenly, Arianna walks in with the worst black eye I have seen in quite some time. I immediately rushed to her side and began attending to her wounds and making sympathetic noises. Only joking, I actually laughed so hard I could barely breathe, but so would you if, like me, you live for minor catastrophes. She also found it hilarious, because she is a perfect human being, and had I thought she might respond in a less favourable manner to my laughing, I never would have done so. I mean, I would, behind her back, but she would never know. That way everyone wins.

Anyway, she had shown up with this black eye after a visit to a farm with several of the other team members, so I knew there had to be a good story behind it. Turns out Cameron, who had also been at the farm, was more than a little afraid of the sheep who were milling around, and they were making him a trifle jumpy. Deciding to capitalize on this, Arianna snuck up behind him pretending to be a sheep, which had the desired effect of making him jump out of his skin, but unfortunately as he did so, he jerked his elbow rather sharply backwards and directly into Arianna’s eye. The result was that she had to perform live music at church events, lead worship, and visit all the schools in the surrounding area with a majestically purple and swollen eye for the rest of the week.

When the rest of the team and I went to the farm, nothing quite so exciting happened, although I did get to bottle feed a lamb which was grand, and see a dog eating a sheep placenta, which was troubling. The other highlight of 10-day had to be at an after school club when a little girl asked me, “Why are you wearing so much black? Are you a witch?”

“Yep.” I replied without a moment’s hesitation. The best part was that I’m 96% sure she was trying to hurt my feelings, but little did she knew that such a remark is literally in the top five Things-You-Can-Say-To-Me-That-Will-Give-Me-Life list.

A few days later, 10-day came to a close, and our team ended our journey in much the same way as we had begun, pulling into the Capernwray drive whilst Bohemian Rhapsody blared and we all sang along. Few endings are as perfect as a Bohemian Rhapsody sing-along ending.

In Which I Am Slightly Inconvenienced and All Hell Breaks Loose

The day after returning from 10-day I got my final paper of the year back, and, having passed every other assignment, I was incredibly vexed to discover that this one, this final paper which I was receiving back a mere 10 days before the end of term, this paper which I had washed my hands of and believed myself done with schoolwork forever, had not passed and had to be resubmitted! Who did the marker think she was, pointing out that many of my quotes were irrelevant and only used to assist the word-count? Who was she to call me out on the general BS which wove itself through the paper like a beautiful spider web of bluffery? Shout out to my roommate, Annissa, who listened sympathetically as I let out several dramatic strangled cries and angry hisses of annoyance once in the inner sanctum of our room.

I would like to add that while I absolutely deserved to be called out on my haphazard and half-hearted style of essay writing, that I also kept getting markers who marked words I was using as incorrect, when they weren’t incorrect, rather they were words I knew and the markers didn’t. So.

Another fun school-related occurrence was that I found out 9 days before the end of term that the Bible knowledge quiz I’d done at the beginning of the year was M.I.A. and I had to retake it. So I did, right then and there, in the office, and then sat in the office of the administrator whilst she graded it, right then and there. I’d gotten 19/20 the first time I took it, and all I could think as she was grading it in front of me was, I swear, if I just went through 6 months of Bible school and I somehow get a lower score on this thing than I did at the beginning, I guess I’ll just have to launch myself out the window.

BUT I DID NOT. This, time I got 20/20. *strikes a ninja pose, does triumphant jump ala Judd Nelson at the end of Breakfast Club*

Closing Remarks

So I’m very distressed, as I can’t find the notes from the rest of my final days, and I’m thinking maybe I didn’t take any more because I was too distracted by, you know, spending time with people. We did have a talent show at the end of term, which every one used as an opportunity to release their sentiments on the Capernwray population at large. Brandi recited Oh The Places You’ll Go, and as if that wasn’t enough, Arianna sang The Call by Regina Spektor, which is a song that already carries a ton of emotional connotations for me about England and leaving friends behind and now it will always and forever be magnified tenfold because now it’s connected in my mind with Capernwray. But the WORST was in out last ever lecture, when Rob concluded by saying, “I’m going to play you a song, and I want you to imagine Jesus is singing it to you,” and the song was frickin FIX YOU BY COLDPLAY. TOO CRUEL, ROB.

Wait, I Almost Forgot the Best Part

As I search the annals of my memory, I am reminded of all the shenanigans that went on on our final night. Firstly, tradition mandates that nobody go to bed –at all, if they are able, and if not, then certainly not at a reasonable hour. Around 11pm a group of us adjourned to the lounge to play 21, which is one of those games that is fun because it is dangerous and there is a risk that bones and/or furniture may be broken. Basically, 2 people sit in the middle of the room and count down from 21 with their eyes closed, and everyone hides. Each round, there is less time to hide (the middle people count down starting from 21, then 20, then 19, etc.) so couches get flipped over and hidden behind and cushion get thrown around and hastily arranged into mini-forts, and it’s all very exhilarating. The next adventure was a bonfire by the pond, around midnight. We sang songs and prayed and talked about what a life-changing experience Capernwray had been, and it was all very moving. At one point, two of the guys decided they were going to jump into the pond in their underwear. Naturally, we all went down to watch.

Now, I had been wanting to jump in the pond for quite some time, but there was no way I was going to do so in my underclothes in mixed company. I remained amongst the spectators. The boys prepared for the jump.

“Wait!” I called out, in dramatic, last-minute fashion, “I’m going to do it too!” and to heck with how wet and cold my clothes would be for the rest of the night. So, together, the three of us jumped into the freezing pond at 2am in March in England and to this day I consider that moment one of the highlights of my existence. Later, I stood by the fire and the populous at large was amused by watching great billowing clouds of steam rolling off of my body as the heat hit my shirt and jeans.

We returned to the castle to discover that someone had constructed a slide made of mattresses on the grand staircase, and we amused ourselves for quite some time sliding down it on pieces of cardboard. We made it doing this until about 3:30 and then everyone sort of crashed and decided to go to bed.

The coach to London left the next night at 11pm with me on it. And, I mean, I feel like I can’t say anything about leaving that hasn’t already been said by some other student on an Instagram post or a blog that focuses more on the spiritual and less on the ridiculous than mine does. The truth is, you’ve either experienced a goodbye like this or you haven’t, and so you’ll either know exactly what it was like without me having to explain or you won’t even if I do. Maybe one day I’ll write a very beautifully worded blog post entirely dedicated to untangling my emotions on that fateful day –and the days to follow- but for now just know that leaving was the worst because leaving a place like Capernwray should be the worst. Next to becoming a Christian, going to Capernwray was the best decision I ever made, and I kind of feel like I left a piece of myself there, and it’s always going to be there. I don’t know. I gotta go shave my legs. Bye guys.