Germany is the Real Magic Kingdom
- Aug 13, 2017
- 5 min read
We took a train from Paris and arrived in Munich in the late afternoon. Upon our arrival at our Airbnb, we discovered the shower was not working, nor would the shower be working for any of the days we were there. The more eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed that in all my pictures from Germany I have the same French braids. This is because I went 4 days without showering and so there was no reason to take my hair down. Disgusting, isn’t it? And yet, I remain unabashed.
One of the many nice things about Germany is that you can eat out for a reasonable price, so we treated ourselves to dinner out that night. Josie and Harrison both got schnitzels which were roughly the size of a small continent and which were beautiful to behold. Despite being 0% about the no-meat life, I was forced to order off of the vegetarian menu because it played host to !FRIED CAMEMBERT! and so I was willing to let my reputation for being a staunch carnivore go by the wayside because fried, breaded, fancy cheese was at stake.
After dinner, we returned to our apartment, where I enjoyed sitting in the windowsill and spying on the people who lived in the apartment complex across the street. There was a cool girl walking around her apartment playing a saxophone so I cheered her on silently, and I hope she goes on to achieve great things in the world of saxophonery.
The next day we explored Munich proper, and since everyone makes a big deal out of the English Gardens, we went. A word of advice: don’t go to the English Gardens (or indeed any garden) in March on a rainy day. They were very sodden and depressing and not at all at their finest, so we made fun of the ducks by the pond for a bit and then departed. We wandered the streets and admired the architecture, and then once again found ourselves at McDonalds (there is no escape) so we stopped for lunch. The poor lady taking our orders didn’t speak English, and I learned that my first response to being presented with a language barrier is to forget whatever words in that language I do know and continue speaking English, but in a slightly more panicked tone. I am the worst, I know. Anyway, between another kind customer who did speak English, various instances of pointing and nodding, and the fact that McDonald’s menu items are pretty much the same in every language (why did they still give me so much trouble?) I managed to procure my lunch. I always imagined myself sweeping around Europe, effortlessly picking up the language and communicating with the locals with elegance and grace, but 7 countries and 5 languages later, I am still a socially anxious buffoon.
We then adjourned to the part of town which all the good old cathedrals and whatnot. St. Peter’s and some other famous buildings. All very grand and lovely to behold. That night we headed to this ultra-German restaurant Josie’s sister had been to and recommended. We got directions from a very nice German man who, doing his best to describe the street with all the designer clothing stores in English, told us that we would “pass by many noble shops” which became a favourite catchphrase of ours for the rest of the trip. We then had a very German meal at the very German restaurant. Lots of meat and potatoes because the Germans know what’s up.
The next day we took a jaunt out to Neusch…Neuschew…Neushewan…. That castle that inspired the Disney castle. Built by a crazy king in the 1800’s and never finished. We got there via 3 hour train ride through Bavaria, meaning 3 hours of idyllic countryside and alps. Upon our arrival, we took a horse and carriage driven by a hearty Bavarian man up the hill to the castle. The views from the top of the hill were absolutely worth freaking out over. One of my favorite books of all time is The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale and Bavaria looks exactly like how I pictured the world in the book, so naturally I was dying a little inside. But anyway, back to the castle itself, Unfortunately, you can’t just wander around inside, you can only do a guided tour, and also taking pictures inside is forbidden. However, one of the middle-aged ladies in our tour group (you know how it is, anytime you go to a tourist attraction you will inevitably be there at the same time as a huge horde of middle-aged men and women from various parts of Asia, all sporting fanny packs and strange hats) didn’t seem to think the “no photography” rule applied to her, and near the end of the tour after several warnings from the terrifying security guard lady, they confiscated her camera and removed her from the premises, presumably to be sent to the gulag.
On our way back down the hill from the castle, we found a secret trail that led into the forest and of course followed it. Pretty sure I was the one who suggested we do so. Josie and Harrison, feel free to correct me or let me live, as the Spirit moves you. Anyway, we journeyed through the forest until we discovered a magical stream and a sunlit clearing. Unlike in Wales, there was no heroin in sight. We passed quite a happy while up there. Harrison built a bridge out of rocks. I feel like he would want me to tell you guys that. It was a good bridge. Good job, Harrison.
The town the train station was in is called Fussen and OH MY SCHNITZEL is it magical. It looks like part of the Magic Kingdom in Disney World except it’s a real town. Pastel buildings, cobbled, winding streets, I can’t even deal just reminiscing about it. They also have a hostel, so for anyone planning on travelling Europe, that’s definitely one of the places to go. We wandered the streets for the rest of the evening and then had coffee before catching our train back to Munich. Our train had compartments that looked exactly like those on the Hogwarts Express and I was very pleased with them.
The following morning we breakfasted at a little café called Josefina’s (because how can you not when one of you is named Josephine?) and then headed back to the town square. St. Peter’s church has this giant animatronic-esque clock that does all manner of exciting things at 11am and I was not leaving that land without seeing myself a fancy clock. It had little people that twirled around in a circle and moved in and out of holes, you know, like all the clocks in Geppetto’s shop in Pinocchio. An absolute delight. That was our final stop in the land of Munich tourist-dom, and later that afternoon we left on a bus headed for Venice.
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